O.K. I got your attention.
I have a secret weapon that most of you arrogant know-it-all people don't have.
Which is great because I'm in love with people that actually like thinking.
Because THEY love you to brain suck them with Astrology. They are fascinated that instead of having their wallets sucked dry for years by psychologists that don't have a clue, you've scoped them out in 15 minutes.
Being an astrologer is somewhat like being a bartender. When you tell people stuff that you are not supposed to know because you just met, they drop the barriers, like when they have a good stiff drink.
You're at a party with your secret weapon, an ephemeris, the tool for quickie horoscopes and the way to get a spark from the most shallow person. I mean, you're talking about their favorite subject – THEMSELVES!
You do this intense guys horoscope.
You deliver your insights with trepidation because an astrologer has to find a way to deliver disturbing information with a spoonful of sugar, without out and out lying to them!
Because deep inside, everyone KNOWS, unless they've passed the final barrier into sociopathville, about their own personal lurking skeletons in their closet.
So, when you encounter a stranger like me that is not supposed to know this shit about you, you have two response choices:
-Be fascinated that this info confirms what your ego doesn't want to admit and have the courage to wallow in your own psychic guts because it's about your favorite subject – YOU!
BURN THE WITCH!
I'm not kidding. I lost a really good job as an artist because the women there thought I was a witch, and the artist ran around her studio, putting her foot through her paintings, screaming, “That's not true!” after I did her horoscope.
So..... I'm done for now.
Put a fork in me.
But..... if you are fascinating, can I suck your brain?