Did the dream of this job start with OgOg saying to DimDim ,Lets go the cave of EmeRil!?
You don't have to chew the meat a million times to swallow, and it's got this cool tasting water in it!
Just the shape of a human's teeth would have have convinced the Puritans, if they had dental knowledge, that the fueling process of the human body was meant to be pleasurable, which blows the hell out a God that requires denial.
Most of our teeth have little bowels in them to savor the flavor while you grind it up. Animal teeth are long and sharp like a knife to slice and swallow.
We are designed to be food critics.
I usually hate reality shows, but the cooking contests feature mad scientist chefs that throw around food atoms in combinations that creates wonderful culinary madness.
I'd like to jap-slap a lot of those poker snotty faced judges, though.
People that like to cook and go where no chef has gone before, are creating food that makes your million taste buds realize that this food is almost as good as sex!
But these critics on shows like Iron Chef munch away at food with an impassive face that I would sell my soul for.
That's why it's great to see the actors or sports figures eat the offerings and have uncontrollable culinary orgasms.
The jaw dropper of these cooking shows is the one which features – get ready – 7 to 13 year olds who made complicated dishes that an Iron Chef would be proud of.
It was interesting seeing foul mouthed Gordon Ramsey astonished and incredulous by these children. You could tell he wanted to tell some of these kids, You little wanker! You'll probably have my job in a few years!
And very few of these kids came from chef parents.
Where did these abilities come from?
Obviously, by utilizing the theory of Occam's Razor these little people have cooked in many lifetimes, in the courts of the likes of Henry the Eighth, and the Courts of Versailles.
Don't believe me?
Watch these sweet young children that should be playing with gender approved toys, command their kitchens like four star generals.
I'm glad that the room has no flies in it while I watch, because they would find an available landing pad in my open mouth.
I would love to hypnotize one of the kids and regress them to one of these lifetimes and ask a question I have always wanted answered.
The chefs in the middle ages were required by kings to create culinary 'curiosities' that better please the royal palette.
One of them was a pie that when sliced, a flock of birds flew out.
Here's my question.
Did the king EAT the pie that had to be full of bird shit from these scared birds?