I've been an exercise and health food freak all my life.
But the other day, I saw myself in the mirror outside, the sunlight illuminating every nook and cranny of my face and I said,
“Who the Fuck Are You?
And now I know why age is pictured as FATHER Time.
Because as a man ages, his wrinkles are 'character lines, and he looks 'distinguished'.
A woman has wrinkles and looks extinguished.
Everyday I Rage, Rage against the dying of the light, and all I hear in return are yawns.
The relentless march of time is merciless – and humiliating.
The everyday experience of grooming involving a mirror causes many exclamations of 'What the Hell?????
Like hair - growing at the speed of light, in all the wrong locations.
If left unchecked, I could sell hair extensions.
Growing from my NOSE!!
Hair has also appeared on either side of my mouth.
As I studied my face, I realized with sick fascination that I could grow a decent Fu Manchu.
For men, though, the gravity induced Going South action of Old Age should be the true definition of obscenity.
At a restaurant, I overheard one old gentleman bragging to his friend about his cockmanship.
He then sadly admitted that at his age, teabagging now meant his balls hanging in the toilet water marinating along with his brown trouts.
So - you youngins out there
Don't let youth be wasted on the young.
Strut your Stuff!
Not because you have the looks that are the flavor of the month or year,
But because you're YOUNG!!!
And, if I go down on a plane with a bunch of women and no razor or tweezers, and you pass by our island,
I'll be the one with the magnificent Fu Manchu, jumping rope with my braided nose hairs!